I have started the process of letting go of my emotional needs that embody themselves physically..
I can feel you in the hot, humid, heavy air of this summer…
You may be near
yet,
I believe you are coming from far away…
on a white horse
on a black horse
on a brown horse
i am not sure…the image is fickle
i know that your headgear is white…and I can only see your eyes..
You are riding with such speed just to get to me…..you know I can only wait so long
You don’t stop at every town you see but every towns caller…sees the fire under your stallions hooves from a distance..and calls..letting the people know that…a stranger is on his way

ever other town thinks that you will stay the night
or
forever

No one knows, but I

that you are only staying the night with me
and
I should be waiting for you…like you are looking for me

this is for you
for always being there with me, even before we met
even before you complimented my torqouise outfit

i knew that i should have a sister, a soulmate, somewhere
i never thought, tim hortons would be it

you see the pleasure and appreciate
what life has to offer
only a few people see as far as you do
only a few people give comfort like you do
i miss your presence
i miss your comfort
with every cup of tea
with every prayer
whether its sunrise or sunset
i carry you in my heart
and
i
pray that happiness fills you and surrounds you
i miss having you
i miss having you
to understand me….
because no one does like you do

we are down on our knees
it’s too late
we have already fallen.
love does not beat the odds
always
it may do
at occasions
when extreme passion takes over and the thin line between “al3aql w al la 3aql” mesh and become invisible
i tried
i failed
you tried
you failed
there is no point in re re re re emphasiing that the past was great
that the happy moments are repeatable
that we can be what we were
if
i
change
and i say that we can feel like we did
if you change
and
niether of us has to
or wants to
and then i sit up, lean over and stare into the distance
and i see us heading somewhere else…

Though I never knew what love was
I spoke of it
Your eyes were never blue…but they might have as well been since I got attached to them so…
It is hot
and humid
Despite the chaos in me and around me I look for peace
Somedays
I feel it so near
Somedays..Chaos is me
Months come
and nights leave
once i said
to you
….that
2ad el7eroof f 2asaaami el3ashe2een ba7ebak
and i did
then
that once
and on other ocassions
but now
my soul has chosen to cry
and weep
in sorrow
of breaking free
and aiming higher
I will right to you here
where you can’t find me
so that
you
somehow can dettach
and where I can rebound
with words

I realised…
as the sun set over the blue sea…
sitting on a table
as the humid heat of 6pm drifts away but somehow stays
that I dont really know the difference
between
love
and
sorrow…

As Time Goes By

A classic~
A fight of love & glory
A case of do or die…

putting the tabs
on my
agenda
january
february
march
april
and my heart beat faster
and my hands shook
my thoughts raced
my lips curved..into a smile
a rush
of
adrenalin
april
sweet april
come so soon
will be in your arms soon
in your thoughts
and also
in your hands
april
sweet april
i can’t contain myself
my emotions race
faster
than
faster than my heart
faster than my thoughts

sarah mclachlan

She called
She cried
I bled

He yelled
He broke
We bled

I stood
They tugged
He crushed

Seperated…physically
Attached…emotionally
Broken souls
Torn dreams

Two roads
One is them
One is I

I choose them
Will they choose I?

It will make me happy,
being miserable with them…
selfish
maybe
but I can’t leave them
longer

In the arms of the storm
In the coldness of those hallways
In the impersonal soul of that house
Where it is winter…all year round…

We still live in the dessert
the warmth of the scorching hot sun
Will never melt that winter

*playing in the background ~ itzhak perlman: chausson poeme*